Help! My Bed Squeaks At Inopportune Times!

You hussy! Are you thinking what I thinking you’re thinking? If you are, that’s my problem.

Whenever I move or turn over or get up at 3 AM to . . . er . . . powder my nose, my bed sounds like DH and I are having a helluva good time. Don’t get me wrong, this old Ethan Allen cannonball bed has held up its end of the bargain through its share of helluva good times, but this squeaking is so loud and embarrassingly . . . ahem . . . constant, I’m afraid the neighbors will either envy or, well, pity me.

The squeaks started a month ago. As a matter of fact, right after buying a new mattress and box spring set. I don’t know if any of you have gone shopping for the aforementioned lately, but mattresses and box springs have grown in size from opulent to downright ridiculous. Because I would need either a stepladder or a hand-up from DH to get in bed at night with these new ridiculous dimensions, I elected to go with the “low-rise” box spring. The set is still fairly high, I still can’t sit on the edge to put my shoes on, but at least I won’t get a nose bleed while I sleep.

And yet, my old bed frame still complains about carrying the unaccustomed load.

Two weeks ago, I started looking at new bedroom sets. I don’t know if any of you have gone shopping for the aforementioned lately, but beds have grown in size from the opulent to downright ridiculous. I would need to move to accommodate one of these new huge bedroom sets.

Last week, I started looking at new homes. I don’t know if any of you have gone shopping for the aforementioned lately, but new houses have grown in size from the opulent to downright ridiculous. I would need to quit writing and go back to work full-time to afford one of these new mini-mansions . . .

Today, I went to Home Depot and picked up a few 1×4’s to make into slats to place under my new mattress and box spring set. Hopefully, the additional support will do the trick and my bed will stop squeaking.

 


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